When should you talk about sex with your partner?

It's best to talk about sex before anything happens, not after.

If you're in a relationship and you're thinking about having sex, the time to talk about it is before you're in the moment. Not because it has to be a serious, formal conversation, but because trying to figure out what you both want while things are already happening is much harder than talking about it when you're both calm and thinking clearly.

You don't need to make it a big deal. It can be as simple as saying: "Have you thought about whether you want to have sex?" or "What would you be comfortable with?" These conversations can be awkward at first, but they get easier once you start. And if you can't talk to someone about sex, it might be better to hold off until you feel more comfortable with them.

It's worth talking about whether you both want to have sex. You might both be assuming the other is ready and putting pressure on yourselves for no reason. Talk about what you're both comfortable with and what you're not, contraception or protection, and whether either of you has been tested for STIs. It doesn't all have to be in one conversation. Take your time.

It's also ok to change your mind. Just because you've talked about it and agreed doesn't mean you're locked in. Either of you can decide you're not ready, at any point, and that should be respected.

If they react badly to you wanting to have that conversation, that tells you something useful about whether they're the right person to be having sex with.

It is best to talk about sex before anything happens, not during or after.

You do not have to make it a big, serious conversation. It can be as simple as asking "Have you thought about whether you want to have sex?" or "What would you be comfortable with?"

It is worth talking about whether you both want to, what you are comfortable with, and what contraception or protection you will use.

If you cannot talk to someone about sex, it might be better to wait until you feel more comfortable with them.

It is also ok to change your mind at any point. Just because you talked about it does not mean you are locked in.