In a long relationship how long should it be before you have sex?
There's no set amount of time. It's different for every couple.
Some people have sex early in a relationship, some wait months or years, and some wait until marriage. None of those are wrong. What matters is that you both want to, and neither of you feels pressured into it.
If you're wondering whether it's "too soon" or "too late," those are other people's rules, not yours. The right time is when you both feel ready and comfortable, and you've talked about it. If one of you isn't there yet, the other person should be fine with waiting. If they're not, that's worth paying attention to.
You don't owe anyone sex just because you've been together for a certain amount of time. Being in a long relationship doesn't create an obligation.
There is no set amount of time you should wait before having sex in a relationship. It is different for every couple.
Some people have sex early on. Some wait months or years. Some wait until marriage. None of those are wrong.
What matters is that you both want to and neither of you feels pushed into it. If one of you is not ready, the other person should be fine with waiting. If they are not, that is worth thinking about.
You do not owe anyone sex just because you have been together for a certain amount of time.
Need to talk to someone?
- BrookSexual health, contraception, relationships, STIs. For under-25s.
- ChildlineAny issue affecting under-19s. Abuse, bullying, mental health, relationships, sexual health.
Where to go from here
Three places this answer connects to — pick what you need next.
The book that answers the questions young people really ask — written for parents, carers and educators.
Buy the book →Curriculum guidance, lesson ideas and key terms to teach this topic with confidence.
See the topic hub →Expert-led delivery, training and curriculum planning from the team behind Okay to Ask.
See our services →